Monday, November 29, 2010

You are a penny.

  • We've been through so much together, and most of it was your fault.
  • Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
  • Well, I think we oughta let him hang there. Let him twist slowly, slowly in the wind.
  • What you said hurt me very much. I cried all the way to the bank.
Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
  • You're a parasite for sore eyes.
  • Some people stay longer in an hour than others can in a week.
  • Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
  • The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind.
  • I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like you as members.
  • There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.
  • I'll bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at the stork.
  • I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
  • You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.
  • I've just learnt about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
  • If you ever become a father, can I have one of the puppies?
  • In her single person she managed to produce the effect of a majority.
  • I've had them both, and I don't think much of either.
  • Pushing forty? She's hanging on for dear life.
  • I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
  • He married your mother because he wanted children; imagine his dissapointment when you came along.
I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.
  • I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
  • I never liked him and I always will.
  • I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
  • I regard you with an indifference bordering on aversion.
  • I thought men like you shot themselves.
  • Remember men, we are fighting for this man's honor; which is probably more than he ever did.
He hasn't an enemy in the world - but all his friends hate him.
  • He looked as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food.
  • He's completely unspoiled by failure.
  • He's liked, but he's not well liked.
  • His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
  • I can't believe that out of 100,000 sperm, you were the quickest.
  • I could never learn to like him, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.
Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.
Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.
  • Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.
  • Fine words! I wonder where you stole them.
  • From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
  • Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other.
  • You had to stand in line to hate him.
  • You have a good and kind soul. It just doesn't match the rest of you.
  • You take the lies out of him, and he'll shrink to the size of your hat; you take the malice out of him and he'll disappear.
  • You're a mouse studying to be a rat.
  • Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
  • You were born with your legs apart. They'll send you to the grave in a Y-shaped coffin.
  • Your idea of fidelity is not having more than one girl in the bed at the same time.
The perfection of rottenness.

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