Two faced..

The trouble with him is that he lacks the power of conversation, but not the power of speech.

• There but for the grace of God, goes God.
• There goes the famous good time that was had by all.
• Where others have hearts, he carries a tumor of rotten principles.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

• Some folks are wise and some are otherwise.
• Be careful when reading health books; you may die of a misprint.
• Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee later than others.
• Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
• That woman speaks eight languages and can't say "no" in any of them.
• The greatest thing since they reinvented unsliced bread.
• Time wounds all heels.
• She was like a sinking ship firing on the rescuers.
• She's been on more laps than a napkin.
• She's got such a narrow mind, when she walks fast her earrings bang together.
• She's so pure; Moses couldn't even part her knees.
• He's the kind of man who climbed the ladder of success; wrong by wrong.
• He's the kind of man who lives for others - you can tell the other by their hunted expression.
• So boring you fall asleep halfway through his name.
• He never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of his conversation.
• He was never really charming until he died.
• She not only expects the worst, but makes the worst of it when it happens.
• You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
• He proceeds to dip his little fountain-pen filler into pots of oily venom and to squirt the mixture at all his friends.
• He should get a divorce and settle down.
• He was the kind of guy who would eat all your cashews and leave you with nothing but peanuts and filberts.
• Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.
• Ordinarily he is insane. But he has lucid moments when he is only stupid.
• He could carry off anything; and some people said that he did.
• Who are you going to believe? Him or your own eyes?
• He has been kissed as often as a police-court bible, and by much the same class of people.
• He is such a good friend that he would throw his aquaintances in the water for the pleasure of fishing them out again.
• He tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake.
• He's so snobbish he has an unlisted zip-code.
• He's the kind of man who picks his friends - to pieces.
• He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.
• He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.

I will always love the false image I had of you.

• Do you think I could buy back my introduction from you?
• I'd call him sadistic, hippophilic necrophillic, but that would be beating a dead horse.
• In order to avoid being called a flirt, he always yielded easily.
• He was one of the nicest old ladies I had ever met.
• He was one of those men who possessed almost every gift, except the gift of the power to use them.
• He was so crooked; you could have used his spine for a safety pin.
• He was so narrow minded that he could see through a key-hole with both of his eyes.
• He was so narrow minded that if he fell on a pin, it would blind him in both eyes.

He was trying to save both of his faces.

• He would stab his best friend for the sake of writing an epigram on his tombstone.
• A dork is a dork is a dork.